Music Monday: Count On Me – Bruno Mars

LightWhen I think about our current deployment, or the last deployment, or the military training, or the drills, or the law enforcement trainings, or the over-time shifts, or the everything-in-between-things in our military/law enforcement life – it can get overwhelming. Really, really, really overwhelming.

You never know if the last time you say good-bye, will actually be the last time you say good-bye. You worry constantly. Stress levels are high. It’s easy to get wrapped up in it all.

But, then there is this song – and it reminds me. No matter what, no matter how hard things are, no matter how far apart we are, no matter what challenges life presents us with, I choose my husband and he chooses me. We’re best friends. It hasn’t been easy, it won’t be easy, but we’ll never stop fighting for each other. 

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,
I’ll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can’t see,
I’ll be the light to guide you

Find out what we’re made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one two three
I’ll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two
You’ll be there
‘Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Whoa, whoa
Oh, oh
Yeah, yeah

If you tossin’ and you’re turnin’ and you just can’t fall asleep
I’ll sing a song
Beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Everyday I will
Remind you

Ooh
Find out what we’re made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one two three
I’ll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two
You’ll be there
‘Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Oh, oh
Yeah, yeah

You’ll always have my shoulder when you cry
I’ll never let go
Never say goodbye
You know you can

Count on me like one two three
I’ll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two
And you’ll be there
‘Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Oh, oh
You can count on me ’cause I can count on you

Forget

Music Monday: Help Me Find It – Sidewalk Prophets

6652e8ffe624f821baea1726756fdb7fIt’s easy to go about life, sometimes feeling like you have no clear idea of what you’re supposed to be doing. What the bigger picture for your life is. And sometimes, when you think you know, something is thrown into your life that turns it all around and upside down.

When my husband and I would talk about this “pending deployment” (now a current deployment), I couldn’t help but feel like the ground under my feet was falling away from me. Any sense of security was gone. All those plans we had, put on hold or wiped away altogether. And I felt like I was left standing alone.

What I’ve come to realize is that I’m never alone. Yes, I’m lonely (who wouldn’t be with their best friend 1/2 way across the world). But lonely is not the same as being alone. My husband is there for me as much as he can be, however there is someone else I can rely on. Someone else that I should rely on. Someone else that I should trust with the most intimate parts of my life.

I’ve had a lot of questions in my life since this deployment was first mentioned in our home – which means there has been a lot of questions in our home for almost two years now. This deployment was on and off so many times I’m still dizzy.

I still don’t have all of the answers, but I feel called to speak openly about the challenges of being both a military spouse and an LEO wife.

My message is for those that feel alone. My message is for those that feel misunderstood. My message is for you. Some people might not like what I have to say…sometimes the truth is very painful to hear.

This song has always brought me comfort, and I hope that you find comfort in it too. If there is a road you should walk, He will help you find it.

I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own

I don’t know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go

I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You

If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go

I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You

If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need

If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

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Music Monday: This Year’s Love – David Gray

39ea333a98449ac4929a6c2a92d1c275This Year’s Love by David Gray is “our song.” Probably not your conventional, typical song for a couple, but that’s one of the many reasons why I love it. This song was the topic of conversation for our very first phone call over ten years ago. When I wanted him to kiss me for the first time? I casually had this song playing in the background (in my defense, he did tell me that hearing this song makes him feel romantic…so I went for it). Did he kiss me? Nope. That’s for another story – but we still laugh about it to this day. Let’s just say that he’s happy I didn’t give up on him after that!

Its not about how easy love is, or about how perfect it is. Its about the realities of love, how people are hurt within love, turning in circles, but continuing to love anyway. My husband is both a full-time LEO and an Army National Guard Soldier. Our life is not easy, in fact it is very hard most of the time. But, I wouldn’t change him, or our life, for anything, and we have to just take each year’s challenges as they come.

I hope you enjoy this song as much as we have:

This years love had better last,
Heaven knows it’s high time,
I’ve been waiting on my own too long
And when ya hold me like you do
It feels so right oh now
I start to forget how my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can’t go on

Turning circle’s and time again
Cut like a knife oh now
If ya love me gotta know for sure
‘Cause it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies oh now
Before I open up my arms and fall
Loosing all control
Every dream inside my soul
When ya kiss me on that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain’t this life so sweet

This years love it better last

This years love it better last
‘Cause who’s to worry if our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don’t ya know this life goes on
Won’t ya kiss me on that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain’t this life so sweet

This years love it better last
This years love it better last
This years love it better last
This years love it better last
This years love it better last,
Woah woah woah I yeah
This years love it better last

2015 Military Spouse of the Year: Round One Update

Well, I can’t begin to thank everyone enough for their support! I am so humbled to announce that I was honored by 2015 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year Program as the Oregon National Guard Base Winner!

National Guard Winner5

Here is a little background, that was provided to me via a press release: In 2013, Military Spouse magazine expanded the Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year® program by introducing an installation echelon. Nominations are now aggregated at the base (Air Force, Army, Marine Corps, Navy), district (Coast Guard), and state level (National Guard). This year, more than 1,600 nominations were submitted from 197 installations across the country. Voters then elected a base level winner at each of these installations. The Base Level Spouses of the Year represent the best of the base, and are a key component in the grass roots level of communication in the military community.

MSOY15“America’s military and their families have been at the ready over the past 13 years we have been at war. The military spouses who have maintained the home front during deployments and training missions have accomplished remarkable feats. They have supported not only our military but added to the strength of the nation,” said Kate Dolack, Editor-in-Chief of Military Spouse magazine. “Now, perhaps more than ever, it is important to recognize those stand out spouses from all branches and at every installation and honor them for their achievements.”

The overall winner and 2015 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year®, will be revealed at a VIP ceremony in Washington, D.C. on May 8th. Base level winners, military officials, and key leaders in the spouse community are invited to the luncheon, as well as at the third annual Military Spouse magazine Town Hall, which will be held on May 7th. For additional information on the Military Spouse of the Year Program ® visit http://msoy.militaryspouse.com.

About Military Spouse

Military Spouse magazine and http://militaryspouse.com, published by Victory Media, is the leading national magazine and online destination for the nation’s 1.1 million military spouses. You can follow us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/militaryspousemagazine and on Twitter at @MilpouseMag.

The company also publishes G.I. Jobs magazine (gijobs.com) and Vetrepreneur magazine (navoba.com), and has created the Buy Veteran movement (buyveteran.com) powered by NaVOBA.

About Armed Forces InsuranceAFI

AFI was founded in 1887 by military leaders with a single mission: to protect the property of those who protect our nation. The company provides premium quality, competitively-priced property and casualty insurance to military professionals throughout the United States and overseas. AFI understands that military members have unique circumstances and insurance needs, enabling the company to offer a level of personalized service that’s unequaled in the industry. For more information, visit the website at www.afi.org or call 1-800-495-8234.

So, What’s Next?

The top 18 candidates will be announced on January 30th, with those candidates participating in a branch vote which will take place on ONE DAY – February 4th. You can follow the timeline of events here: http://msoy.militaryspouse.com/timeline/.

I’ll be sure to keep you all posted on any updates – but regardless of the outcome, I will be accepting my invitation to Washington, D.C.! I look forward to the opportunity to continue to be an advocate and representative for the Oregon National Guard! Again, thank you for your support – it means more to me than I can express!

Military Spouse of the Year: Round One

ADB%20Photographix-6286-X3Hello everyone! I know you might have seen me posting about this on Facebook and Twitter, but I wanted to go into a little more detail on the blog as well. I recently had the honor of being nominated as Armed Forces Insurances’ Military Spouse of the Year. It would be such a privelege to represent the National Guard as the 2015 MSOY (Military Spouse of the Year), but I need your help!

Today and TODAY ONLY is Round One of voting. Voting is currently taking place, and ends at 11:59pm EST on January 21st (yes, today)! Here is a direct link to my profile where you can vote. If for some reason you cannot find my profile, please enter “Ashley Ella” in the search box.

http://msoy.militaryspouse.com/vote/#view/19957/2599246

Here is a summary of the questions they asked me, in addition to my answers:

Tell us a little about you: I’m a business owner here in Oregon (I appraise commercial agricultural properties with a focus on vineyards and wineries). However, my family always comes first, and I’m the proud spouse of a National Guard soldier. When my husband is not serving the National Guard, he is a full-time state trooper – making me a Mil Spouse by weekend (and trainings and deployments) and an LEO Wife the rest of the time. Needless to say, bullet proof vests / life-style are a part of our every day life. I’m also a mom to a beautiful three year old daughter and am currently working on writing my first book about the unique challenges of being a spouse of a National Guard soldier.

Hobbies: I love traveling (a lot) – if I’m not flying or traveling at least three to four times a year I go stir crazy! I’m also an entrepreneur (which is kind of a hobby, right?) – I’ve started two companies, own a rental property, I’ve been involved with three direct marketing companies, and am currently writing my first book. Hobbies also include volunteering where my passions lie at that time in my life. In regard to the military, I’m recently started a blog to reach out to fellow “part-time” military spouses. I am also pursuing my love for writing by starting my first book. The purpose of the book is to speak to the emotional challenges that come with being a part time military spouse, and how to survive both deployment AND the civilian world.

Share something funny/random/interesting about you: The last time my husband deployed, I dropped him off at the airport, went into work, and got laid off. I was staring down a scary, lonely journey and I had no idea what I was going to do. So, I decided to pursue one of my hobbies at that time (weddings), and started my own wedding coordination company. Within a short time, it became an award winning company numerous years. I was blessed to meet amazing couples, but most importantly I proved to myself that no matter what life could throw at me – I would over come it.

What is something you’ve learned from being a military spouse? I’ve learned so much – that I’ve decided to put it all in a book. I want others in similar situations to know that they are not alone, that their struggles matter, that they are loved, and that they are a crucial part of supporting the US Armed Forces. In very short summary, I have learned that I am strong, committed, brave, compassionate, sensitive, emotional, and driven. And, I have a mission: to help my fellow part-time military spouses survive their deployments AND life in the civilian world.

In your opinion, what is one of the most important issues facing military families? I continually see, read, and talk with fellow military families, and they feel that their sacrifices aren’t taken seriously. There was a sense of unity directly after 9/11, however some of that has started to fall to the way side as the war(s) continue on. I think it is important to bring to the attention of all Americans, that no matter the war, no matter the circumstances, no matter political preferences, soldiers of the US Armed Forces make the decision to fight for what they believe in – and their families sacrifice along side them.

In your opinion, what is one of the best aspects of being in a military family? One of the best aspects of being in a military family is the sense of unity and strength that few people will ever understand. To having someone you love knowingly and voluntarily stand up, raise their hand, and say “me, send me.” I didn’t understand this call to action that my husband has always had until we went to Ground Zero together just two weeks before his first deployment. There was no monument. There was no calm. It was chaos, it was destruction, it was pain. But the man holding my hand was willing to fight for those people, fight for their families, fight for their memories. And now? So was I. Through his first deployment (and now going through our second), I don’t look at being a military family as a burden – I look at it as being a blessing. After the first deployment, each hug meant more. Each kiss meant more. Every second with the one I love meant more – this was a lesson I feel that people spend a lifetime trying to figure out. We were blessed to learn it in our first year of marriage.

What is one thing you would want to accomplish with the MSOY title? I want to bring more recognition and understanding to the unique challenges of being a National Guard (army, air, or reserve) military spouse. These spouses are typically in communities that do not understand the military way of life nor the sacrifices that come along with it. Even amongst the military community, I want all of the branches to work in unity – they serve the same nation. They serve the same people. They serve you. They serve me. Army National Guard families, and other part-time military families, are often the “forgotten” ones. We’re looked at just as the “weekend warriors.” However, we’re just as much a part of serving this nation as any other branch. The Army cannot do it on their own. The Marines cannot do it on their own. The Air Force cannot do it on their own. The Navy cannot do it on their own. The Coast Guard cannot do it on their own. They must work in unity, in oneness. They are equal. Every day they serve, we serve. Even if only serving on “the weekends,” they are always ready for the call. The motto of the National Guard is even “Always Ready, Always There.” Well, as spouses we have to also be “always ready, always there” when duty calls. I want fellow Part-Time military families and spouses to know that they are heard, they are not alone, and that their sacrifices matter.

Thank you for taking the time to read about this great honor. In order to advance to the national round (18 total candidates – three from each branch of the military) – I need your help! I truly appreciate you taking a moment out of your day to support me in this process. Please forward this link to friends and family. Thank you very much!

thankyou_Arizona